Well, today I weighed myself..The scale said I am 152.2 It makes me sick to write it but I want all of you who are reading this to know. I don't understand how. A week ago I was 143. I guess during my flare up when I couldn't exercise I gained. It made me sick to see that number. For breakfast I had 3/4 cups of Honey Nut Cheerios and 3 pineapple slices. After breakfast, I danced to 5 songs on the Just Dance 2 Wii Game. After I did about 10 minutes of the Exercise TV show. I still have two more workouts to complete before the day is over. I didn't eat lunch yet and it's almost 5pm. I try to eat but I physically get sick. Doesn't seem worth eating a yogurt right now when it's almost dinner time. I guess if I'm hungry later tonight I can eat it as a snack.
Tomorrow I'm going to the YMCA to try out their Silver Sneakers class. It's a class designed for older people but since I'm limited in what I can do because of my JRA I thought it would be worth trying out. I'm also going to the pool tomorrow night. My joints need it and I can get in an excellent workout without pain. Hopefully the class goes well and I can have something new to look forward to.
My self esteem has been real bad. Over the years I've been called some pretty bad things. I have wonderful friends, family and the greatest boyfriend who make me feel better about myself but there's still that negative I hear and feel. I need to stop comparing myself to every other girl out there. My thoughts eat at me. "She's prettier," "She's skinnier", "Why would someone be with me when they can have that?!". I love my personality yes, but I want my body and looks to look good too and there's nothing wrong with that. I want to wear those cute skirts or short shorts, pretty dresses, an actual 2 piece bathing suit. I want to look in the mirror and say "Wow, I look good" and not get sick like I do now when I look in the mirror.
I didn't take a photo like I wanted today because my camera needs to be charged but I'll post one this week, I promise. Thanks to whoever that is reading this :)
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